


Pride Goeth

by siDEADde



Category: Hollows - Kim Harrison
Genre: F/F, Ravy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 08:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siDEADde/pseuds/siDEADde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pride goeth before the fall, something Rachel Morgan knows very well. Can she accept yet another change to her identity?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Brought over from LJ and FFN.
> 
> For those interested, the music below are the songs on Ivy's CD:
> 
> http://soundcloud.com/youarethemusic1000/amanda-palmer-the-flaming-lips (This is the version that Ivy is singing.)
> 
> http://www.playlist.com/playlist/23636706571 (This is the link to the complete playlist, it's just the wrong version of The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.)

She knew the church couldn't be empty; Rachel had seen Ivy's bike parked in the garage, the garage she had built for _her_ car. The witch huffed, slamming the car door, trying to drum up some righteous indignation on her way to the heavy wooden front door. Just because she wasn't expected home yet didn't give Ivy the right to steal her spot. A soft squeaking caught her attention. It had been a few years since she had splurged and spent her entire savings to gift to Ivy and Jenks the Vampiric Charms placard hanging over the church door: Tamwood, Jenks  & Morgan. Rachel stopped a moment, shielding her eyes against the setting sun, to gaze at its gently swinging shadow and smile. Wait; she had almost forgotten the feigned anger. Adjusting her face into what she hoped was a threatening scowl, she pushed open the unlocked door and stepped quietly into the hallway leading to the sanctuary.

A loud metallic drone filled the air, the buzzing whir broken by what sounded like the beeping of a heart monitor. A voice, low and sultry, started to purr out singing one of Rachel's favorite Roberta Flack songs. Except this wasn't Roberta Flack. Rachel's frown went from angry to puzzled; it was unlike Ivy to listen to music this loud. Especially with the door unlocked and the knowledge that Rachel herself wasn't supposed to be back until Monday. It wasn't safe; there was no way the vamp could hear anything through the feedback that throbbed from the speakers.  
Then again, no one expected Rachel home right now, hell for all she knew Ivy could be "entertaining" in the next room. The vamp probably took advantage of Rachel being away to have Nina stay at the church. Ivy had taken it upon herself to help Nina recover from trauma she had received from an undead master vamp. Nina didn't like Rachel much and the witch's feelings were pretty mutual. Rachel didn't bother reflecting on why. She was afraid of what she might find, and some things are better kept hidden. Focus was what the witch needed now, so peeking in was better than charging in, ley line blaring. She tiptoed to the doorway and hesitated under the open arch.

Ivy sat against the far wall that housed the component stereo, a pair of expensive over-ear headphones blending into her curtain of midnight black hair. For the first time since their pairing, Rachel had managed to sneak up on her ever-vigilant roommate. Ivy's knees were pulled up, ankles askew, giving her the look of a cast-aside marionette. Her head was gently tipped back against the wall, ebony lashes closed against her porcelain cheeks. Both forearms rested on her knees with the same loose casualness and relaxation that softened her face. Her head tilted to the side and that gray silk voice rose to duet with the woman on the radio. Rachel held her breath, not wanting to break the spell, a familiar, fluttering warmth growing in the pit of her stomach. This was a side of her roommate that Rachel rarely saw: relaxed, soulful…and dare she think it, so breathtakingly beautiful. Tears pricked, so she closed her eyes against them; the lyrics sounded so hopeless in the vamp's soulful croon. She was singing in earnest now, smoky voice rising up to harmonize with the singer. Rachel could hear Ivy's heart poured into the words; her longing and loss, her pain and her love. Always her love.

The song rose to a crescendo and Ivy followed, voice breaking. Rachel's eyes flew open and she watched as two tears untangled themselves from Ivy's lashes and crept slowly down her face. Rachel knew the song, knew the twisted irony that Ivy sang. The lyrics were supposed to be a joyous affirmation of love. They were something Rachel had never done and internally swore to never do. Affirm. She slumped in the doorway, all previous irritation forgotten. Rachel knew in her heart that Ivy sang about her. Passion like this couldn't be about Nina, or even Ivy's ex. Matthew Glenn had left Cincinnati to go to Flagstaff and work for the Men in Black, taking the nymph Daryl with him to greener pastures and cleaner air. While she knew the vamp had cared deeply for Matthew, Ivy had only ever been this passionate about one thing.

Relief warred with guilt as the song started to drop off. Rachel was surprised she had been able to watch this long, unnoticed. Normally she couldn't move without Ivy knowing; it freaked her out how Ivy could pinpoint her location by just the thrum of her heart.

The dirty growl of the bass faded into another song, this one grittier and vaguely familiar. As the songs changed, Ivy stiffened, her posture no longer a model of repose. Rachel stepped forward softy, prepared to apologize for not announcing her presence, but her roommate's eyes never opened. The bass deepened and Ivy reached up to hastily wipe the tears from her face and jerk the silky free-flow of hair into a disciplined knot. Her features tightened, jaw clenched against the simmering emotion of the song. Rachel froze, then sank slowly to sit on the landing's single stair, all the while searching Ivy's face for any sign of awareness. Whisper quiet, she sucked in a deep breath to calm her racing heart. She felt a bit ashamed for watching when Ivy obviously thought she was alone with her music. Rachel knew it was her refuge; the vamp bared her soul at her baby grand when no one was home to hear it. She had never seen Ivy caught up in anything so deeply, so…magically, for lack of a better word. She had never seen Ivy seem so less, well…Ivy.

The new song was harsh and intense, but there was a forbidden yearning in the singer's voice. Rachel knew she had heard it before; she thought it sounded like something that Ivy had listened to after particularly rough days, but she'd never paid much attention. Now she focused, trying to catch the lyrics and see why her roommate so frequently turned to this song as a respite.

The music swelled, the chorus thundered forth and Ivy's hands curled into fists against her sides, tears flowing freely. Rachel, shocked by how fragile Ivy looked, bit back a shuddering sigh. There was no sing-along this time; the vamp's body just coiled tighter and tighter. It only took through the refrain for Rachel to know why Ivy had chosen this song. Guilt rose up in a lump in Rachel's throat. Now there was no denying that Ivy had been singing about her earlier and worse, that this song was about her as well. Apparently this was Ivy's go-to mix when she was trying to get Rachel out of her system. Enough pain, enough tears…Rachel couldn't stand to see Ivy cry anymore. She let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, and moved forward.

Ivy's body had slumped in onto itself, long limbs clasped together as if to keep from flying apart. Her face, still tear dampened, had lost some of its tension. She looked defeated now, the initial anger short-lived. The song still swelled and released, but Ivy was lost in her own head. Rachel, now close enough to touch her, remained incredulous that Ivy hadn't smelled her yet. She slowly knelt next to the living vampire and raised a shaking hand to brush away a leaking tear.

Her fingers were barely in motion before Ivy exploded from her fetal curl, wide black eyes hollow in her pale, tear-stained face. She stood pressed against the wall, chest heaving.

"R-Rachel! H-how long…"

"I'm sorry. Ivy I should have…" Rachel blushed at the pulse of pleasure from her scar. She rose stiffly and started to back out of the room. "I shouldn't have touched you. I just couldn't…"

Both of them stood frozen, eyes locked. Ivy swallowed, pupils still dilated predatory black, and shook her head like a startled jungle cat. Rachel's tear-touched hand rested unconsciously against the tiny raised scars on her neck. The scars Ivy gave her that glorious day their auras chimed. The scars that marked her as Ivy's; something Rachel never seemed to want to be unless it was convenient.

The vamp's fingers scrabbled against the wall as she fought to take a deep breath. It had been ages since Rachel had seen Ivy vamp-out like this. Then again, this was the first time Rachel had ever caught Ivy this far off her guard.

"Don't move, please…"

Although it was almost a whisper, the sadness and steel cut through the pulsing music and held Rachel in her tracks. The witch frowned when she noticed that her hand placement just added to Ivy's torment and let them drop to her sides. Hurt flashed through the feral gleam of the vamp's eyes. A shot of irritation shot through Rachel. They had been past this old dance for months.

"I'll just come back, Iv. Give you a second to yourself. I screwed up….typically."

"No, just be still."

Closing her eyes, she let that small action attempt to convince Ivy how much she trusted her to handle the situation. It was the trust she gave that let Ivy get control of her instincts.

"I'm not afraid. I'm pissed. Ok, the fact that I sat here and creeped on you was uncalled for but God, Iv, you needed a hug." She peeked through slitted eyes to see if Ivy's posture had eased.

"At least let me turn this music down."

An electronic click and silence roared louder than the throbbing bass. Rachel opened her eyes to see Ivy standing an exact eight feet away, all previous emotion returned to wherever the vamp kept the rest of her baggage.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Ivy's voice was as emotionless as her face.

For a moment Rachel was back in Mackinaw, sitting in Kisten's van and asking Ivy to stay and share blood. She could remember the fear in the vampire's eyes, the sadness, the unfamiliar confusion as Ivy asked the same question. Back then it had been to ride the adrenalin rush that Rachel needed to feel alive. No more fear or confusion now; the silky voice sounded beaten.

"Why am I doing- What the hell, Ivy? I live here too, remember? How about what are you doing crying alone in the middle of the living room?" Sanctimonious anger bubbled and threatened to boil over. Rachel lifted her chin and stared defiantly at the vamp.

"Just answer the question. You know damn well what I'm talking about." The response was a growl; black eyes ringed by a slip of brown bored into the witch.

"You know what, go on, put your headphones back on and go back to whatever the hell you were doing. You were crying and a friend would offer support!" Rachel turned in a huff, ready to stomp off to her room.

"Nina asked me to move in with her."

Rachel froze mid-step and turned back around slowly. Newt appearing _right now_ in the sanctuary would have been less of a shock. Her mouth hung open, bravado lost. "W-what?"

"Nina wants me to move in with her." The frustration that edged Ivy's voice suggested a frequent argument, "She says she's done sharing me with you. She wants me to make a decision."

"You're actually considering this?!"Rachel bristled, hands clenched into fists by her sides. Before Ivy could reply, she continued the tirade, "I know Nina needs you, and that you're helping her with a difficult situation, but what about the firm?"

As Rachel deflected and denied, Ivy smothered all emotion behind her typical stoic mask. The living vamp's shoulders slumped in resignation but her eyes remained black, fathomless pools as Rachel's anger washed over her. "You can handle the office. I'll still take contracts and come here for some consultations. I don't need to live here for that."

"This is bullshit and you know it." The redhead blustered, an angry flush spreading across her cheeks. "I know she doesn't like me, but god Ivy, I'm not trying to steal you away from her. Is she this paranoid about everything?"

The room crackled with unspoken tension. Without a word, Ivy turned and fled to her room, disappointment and vampire incense trailed along behind her. Rachel bit her lip and weighed her options. She could follow after the agitated vampire and risk triggering her instincts further, or she could walk out and get a coffee while this blew over. Ivy never stayed angry for long.  
Rachel stood on the landing, indecision pulling her between the Ivy's door and the church's exit. Still, there was something in the vamp's tone, in her posture, in her drying tears that screamed a warning that she knew she should heed.

A loud thump and muffled curse made Rachel's mind up for her. She walked towards Ivy's room with exaggerated loudness. No more sneaking up on vampy, there were enough stress and pheromones floating on the air.

She paused for a moment in front of the closed door and let her mind wander again. The church without Ivy. Impossible. Rachel suddenly realized she couldn't imagine anything without Ivy. She had been surrounded by her for so long. Change was hard for vampires, there was no way Ivy actually considered moving, right? An unsettling dread rose from her gut.

"Stop it Rachel." Ivy's voice rose strangled from the bedroom, the witch's fear just fueling the fire.

"Can I come in?" Rachel hesitated for the second time in a night. It had to be a record.

"Really, I'd rather you not."

"We need to talk about this." Rachel turned the knob, "I'm coming in."

The fading sunlight poured through the curtainless windows. Stacked boxes threw pillar shadows across stark white walls. Ivy stood in the center of the room bent over an open box staring at the framed picture of Rachel and a giant Jenks posing in Mackinaw. She turned away abruptly, but not before Rachel saw that her eyes were again red-rimmed with tears. She swiped at her face and sniffed, back still turned. Rachel felt her stomach plummet to her feet.

"You p-promised." It was all Rachel could get past the lump in her throat.


	2. Chapter 2

Ivy just shook her head and gently closed the box’s lid. “I know-and I just can’t. I need to start thinking about me, no matter how much it hurts to do so.” A shuddering sigh escaped her before she could stop it. 

“Look at me, Ivy. When the fu-” Rachel’s voice notched higher, a thin note of hysteria ribboning through it. She stopped and sucked in a deep breath trying to get a semblance of control. “Were you even going to tell me? How? A text message? A note on the fridge? I think I deserve more than this.” The witch gesticulated wildly in the abnormally bright room.

The vamp refused to turn, jerky movements slipping into graceful vampy energy. Clearly, the despair in Rachel’s voice had gotten to her. Ivy grabbed the roll of packing tape and ratcheted it across the box where she had so lovingly placed the picture. Rachel stilled behind her, misery seeping from every pore. The witch knew Ivy wouldn’t turn again, not without extreme provocation. For all of the living vamp’s strength and speed, it was Rachel who held all the power. One look at the redhead and that incredible willpower would likely crumble to dust.

“I was going to tell you on Monday when you got home.” Ivy tried to keep her voice even. This would have been so much easier if Rachel would just come home Monday like she had said she would. The little witch could be so damn irritating…

“You weren’t even going to give me any say in this?” Rachel interrupted. 

“Why should you have any say?!” Ivy whirled around and pinned the witch with a glare. Anger evened out the power struggle in the room. Rachel stumbled back when she realized the vamp was pulling an aura. “This is my life, little witch. You have no say in how I live it.”

“Knock off that aura crap, Ivy.” Rachel pushed forward through Ivy’s glower. “You’re my best friend. I love you and I don’t want you to throw away everything we’ve worked to build!”  
And at Rachel’s casual mention of love all the fight dropped out of the vamp. Before the witch could see her loss of composure, Ivy turned back and started throwing things in boxes with that eerie vampiric speed and grace. Rachel just continued to poke: pissed , vampy Ivy, the witch could handle.

“God, why the hell were you lazing in the sanctuary if you’re in such a damn hurry to leave?” Rachel snapped in an attempt to heal her wounded pride and divert the vamp from her task  
.   
“When I was packing I found that CD.” Ivy’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I had forgotten about it. Rache, I can’t really talk about this now-”

“Then when, Ivy? You’re leaving. Crap on toast, you owe me this at least.” Rachel’s voice wavered. “I’ll be even easier to avoid when you aren’t living here.”

“I don’t _want_ to avoid you.” The vamp muttered so quietly that Rachel wasn’t sure she heard her right.

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Ivy stopped her packing and turned to her roommate. There would be only one way Ivy to get Rachel to back up, and that was to concede to her demands. The witch had tired of Ivy’s perpetual retreat, so she would push and push until the vamp gave in . 

“Fine, let’s talk. Go into the sanctuary, I need some fresh air if we’re going to do this. Plus I want to get my CD.”

Ivy brushed past the redhead, their brief contact raising goosebumps on the witch’s perfect skin. Rachel sucked in a breath and followed her into the other room. Apparently the living vamp planned on making this as difficult as possible; strange since that was usually Rachel’s job.

Ivy sat on the edge of the couch, wound as tight as a spring. Her legs were pressed tightly together, back ramrod straight, head pitched slightly forward. The vamp’s blank visage belied her anxiety; she was uncharacteristically picking at her perfectly manicured nails. Rachel moved across the room to perch on the arm of Ivy’s chair her eyes locked on the vampire’s bowed head. She noticed Ivy had slipped into old habits, hiding behind the curtain of her long black hair. The witch shifted uncomfortably. Gaging Ivy’s mood was far simpler when her eyes were in plain sight.

“I’m stressed, angry, and heartbroken Rachel.” The vamp spoke so quietly Rachel had to strain to listen. “If you want to know how I’m feeling, you can just ask.”

“You’ve always run from me when I ask. I’ve learned not to bother…” The redhead’s response was frank and delivered with a wry shrug.

“Stop.” The vampire raised her head and pinned Rachel with apprehensive chocolate eyes. “From here on out we both promise to be honest, no matter who we think we are protecting. No holding back to spare feelings.”

“Agreed. Who goes first?”

“You’re the one who wanted to talk.” Ivy raised her hands, palms facing Rachel in a sign of surrender.

“Fine.” Rachel slumped on the chair arm and slid backwards into the seat so that her legs dangled and her head rested on the other arm, eyes on the ceiling. The witch could feel each second as it ticked by, the rising tension didn’t make the start of the conversation any easier. 

“Ivy,” Her head turned, and tried to catch the vamp’s eyes, but Ivy had returned to hiding behind the black fall of hair, “We make a kick-ass team. Turn take it, I’ve never worked with anyone as well as I do with you and Jenks. We can’t do this without you.”

Without a word the vampire rose. “I already said I’ll still take contracts and work with you. If you want to discuss a working relationship, Rachel, you can call me at Nina’s.” Ivy moved with vampiric quickness to the console, and punched the disc eject button with a stiff finger.

“God Ivy, what do you want from me?” 

The vamp whirled again, disc forgotten, an angry snarl showing fang. “I want you to be fucking honest with me Rachel. It’s now or never. If I walk out that door I’m never coming back.”

“Tell me about the CD first.” The witch backpedaled, trying to unnerve Ivy as much as Ivy had unsettled her. “It’s about me, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

Silence stretched between the two, not quite uncomfortable but certainly not the companionable quiet that used to surround them. Ivy raised a sculpted eyebrow as Rachel fidgeted in the chair. The redhead’s eyes were closed and a slight frown pulled at her lips. Ivy blew out a rattling sigh.

“Anything else?”

“What’s on it?”

Ivy pulled the disc from the player, contemplative look on her face. “Five songs.”

Silence again, as the vamp gathered her thoughts. “I made it when you started going to the Ever After for tutoring.” Her voice tightened as she watched Rachel absently twist a copper curl. “It tells a story.”

The witch’s hand stilled and she lifted her head to look at her roommate. Ivy’s eyes were pools of melted chocolate. The emotional ups and downs of the past fifteen minutes had left them puffy and reddened, but there was not a hint of black. Rachel felt pretty sure her own eyes matched Ivy’s, except the green would almost glow from the red contrast. “Would you care to elaborate?”

Ivy held the witch’s gaze, trying to determine if Rachel honestly wanted to know, or if she was just attempting to avoid a real conversation. What was there left to lose now? The vamp sighed, “The first song is The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, but not by Roberta Flack. It’s a cover that suited how I felt better. The second is H. Then If It’s The Beaches, First Day of My Life and finally Ice Cream.”

Rachel’s head dropped back to the arm of the chair and she resumed twirling the errant strand of hair. Ivy still stood near the stereo spinning the silvered disc on a finger. “I only know the first one, but I think the second one was the one I heard when I came in.” The witch didn’t need Ivy to know how long she had stood and watched. “That’s not a very happy song.”

The living vamp let that comment hang. Rachel could work through the story herself. The starting song, a proclamation of love from almost the very beginning (it was the love that Piscary hadn’t counted on) followed immediately by a growling plea from an addict who, despite the strength of ten men and a will of steel, is angry at the inability to quit something so deliciously toxic. The third described the lengths that one would go for just a taste of love unrequited, the song that Ivy identified with the most. The fourth, the change she had dreamt of since moving to the church; the start of a life with Rachel by her side. And at last, a lighthearted piano romp that Ivy herself would sometimes play and sing on the rare occasions when no one was home. The song, an affirmation of love so sweet and happy that the vamp only let herself listen when she felt she deserved a reward. The songs were a confessional and so the CD stayed hidden when the witch was near so Ivy wouldn’t have to endure Rachel’s guilt and frustration.

“I’m sorr-” 

“Don’t.” The vamp snapped, “I know already that you’re sorry. Stop apologizing and own up.”

“I love you, Ivy…I just don’t love you like th-”

A whistle and soft thud cut her off. Rachel gasped and stared at the CD embedded in the leather-back of the chair, just inches in front of her face. Eyes like saucers, she spun, feet smacking the hardwood and her mouth open in shock.

“What the f-” Before she could finish, the headphones exploded next to her in a hail of plastic and wire. The witch threw her hands over her head and invoked a circle. A crystal bauble crashed against the smut-covered dome, shattering into a thousand pieces.

“God Rachel, you promised honesty. Why can’t you just admit it?!” Ivy shouted in exasperation. She flew to an end table, movements vampy, and grabbed the small lamp and hurled it at the witch’s bubble. “You’re lying to me, typical…but worse you’re lying to yourself! I know you love me, Rachel. I saw it when we shared blood in Mackinaw, I saw it again when our auras chimed. You can’t hide when you share blood. You saw all of me, and I saw you.” The coasters flew next, one at a time, careening crazily off the bubble’s surface. The redhead’s eyes were wide in astonishment as the Ivy up-ended the side table and kicked it across the space between them.

“What kind of sick pleasure do you get from torturing me like this?! To live with you for years knowing you loved me, but would just deny, deny, deny. Jesus, Rachel, fucking imagine that.” Ivy spit the last words. “I thought if I could convince you to share blood you would realize, then when you didn’t I thought if we tried again you would see…”

The witch recoiled; the bubble might be impervious to a physical attack, but Ivy’s fury and despair cut through the black and gold dome as if it didn’t exist. A photograph lay just outside the witch’s circle, its glass spiderwebbed in a cracked frame, the last victim to the vamp’s frustration. The redhead looked at the picture, taken here in the sanctuary on the day of Ceri’s baby shower. Rachel had sat next to the glowing elf, a complexion amulet hiding most of the damage from her stint in the Ever After. Ivy had been standing behind them both, leaning on the back of the couch to get in the picture. Ivy was tilted a bit closer to Rachel, a weak attempt at a smile on both of their faces. There was still hope in her eyes then, just a hint.

“Do you know why I wouldn’t take your blood after Mia almost killed us both?” Ivy spun gracefully, fully vamped out and predatory. Rachel stared dumbly. “Even as strung out as I was, I couldn’t take seeing it again, that love in you that you wouldn’t give me. Sharing blood with you was the most terribly beautiful thing I had ever done. To know that there is someone in this world who loves all of me for what I am, but who doesn’t want me because she is afraid that one more thing she thought about herself might not be true. It kills me.”

Ivy stalked forward, ebon eyes holding Rachel’s own, her voice slipping back into gray silk, “You accepted Takata, Rachel. Maybe not happily, but you aren’t in denial. You’ve accepted being a demon and all of the repercussions that come with it. Why can’t you accept that you love me? Love transcends gender, Rachel Mariana Morgan, just as it transcends race and class.”

The vampire was a breath away from Rachel’s circle, midnight eyes surrounded by the thinnest circlet of brown. The witch knew her magic creeped Ivy out so the vamp’s proximity to the circle shocked almost as much as her raging tirade. Rachel had tracked Ivy’s approach, sensual but filled with anxiety. Something was going to happen. The witch scrambled back, eyes filling at the overwhelming sense of dread. She searched Ivy’s eyes for reassurance, but the vamp’s were empty. Ivy stood, hands on her hips, sultry smirk warring with fragile hope. “We’re soulmates, Dear Heart; something I never believed existed until I met you. Something that was confirmed when I bit you. Watch.” 

Rachel’s tear-filled eyes rose as Ivy slowly lifted her hand, delicate index finger extended, and touched the side of the witch’s invoked circle. The shimmering gold and black popped like a soap bubble; Rachel flinched with a gasp and bit her lip as a tear escaped and rolled down her face. Ivy hesitated a moment, then with the same finger that proved their souls were intertwined, she caught the tear and brought it to her lips.

“Goodbye Rachel.”


	3. Chapter 3

The witch’s eyes closed at the whispered adieu and the tears that had welled in her eyes fled down her face. A vampire had taken her circle…Ivy had _taken_ her circle… _Ivy_ had taken her circle…but she had done so with a tenderness and a love so profound that the pop had felt like an intimate caress. Rachel could no longer deny what had hidden in her heart for these long years. They were soulbound; their auras contantly seeking parity through contact. 

She could hear Ivy moving in her room, and the only reason she could hear the vamp was because Ivy wanted her to. What did that mean? Did Ivy want Rachel to run to her, begging? Would it even matter? That’s what Rachel had always done and she was sure the vamp had steeled herself against it now. The witch needed to think about the future at this point. How does one leave a soulmate? In tears apparently. Rachel sniffed and slowly stood and surveyed the damage around her. 

The sanctuary looked like a warzone; broken glass and electronics littered the floor with coasters lying here and there. The side table still lay forlornly with its legs in the air; Rachel righted it without thinking when the CD that started it all caught her eye. She turned and stepped back gingerly and pulled it from its imprisonment in the chair. She flipped the disc in her hands hoping that it wasn’t scratched beyond repair. Using the strewn-about coasters as stepping stones, Rachel went to the stereo and put in the CD. Ivy’s headphones were shot, but Rachel still had the pair Trent had given to her from Lucy as a godmother gift. Now that she had lost Ivy, she wanted to hear the story Ivy had envisioned for them. The witch threw the best pity parties and up until now Ivy had always been invited and helped pull her from herself. Not anymore. Rachel sighed and popped them over her ears and pressed play.

She skipped the first two songs. The witch already knew the beginning of the story: love at first sight and unhealthy devotion to a destructive force. How had Ivy seen their story end? The middle song, the crossroads of the story, said it all. _I will rearrange my plans and change for you_. Didn’t Ivy know Rachel didn’t want her to change? Despite Rachel’s protests, the vamp had tried. She’d fasted, she’d kept herself sated, she’d celebrated the witch’s relationship with her old boyfriend and best friend. Rachel had thrown it all right back at her instead of acknowledging the great lengths to which Ivy had gone. The redhead was afraid to hear the next song. She held her breath and pressed next.

A sweet guitar riff caught her ears, and Rachel realized in amazement that Ivy had always believed theirs would be a happy ending. There was no angst, just unabashed joy. She smiled a little at the singer’s enthusiasm. The song was so unlike her brooding roommate. Maybe there was still hope. As the last song started, the playful piano and the singer’s confirmation that love was better than ice cream, Rachel rested her head on her knees. She wanted this, this happy ending. Her mind jumped back to Ivy, sleek and smooth, after she had lost her shit and destroyed the sanctuary. _Love transcends…_ to that surreal moment when the vamp braved her fear of Rachel’s magic and gambled on the impossible, proving they were one in all but body. The witch loved Ivy, she did. She loved her more than a friend; more than a sister even. What did that love mean to her now that the vamp had finally pulled away? Could she live without Ivy? Could she live with the thought of Ivy seeking comfort in the arms of another, comfort from the heartbreak that Rachel, herself, had caused?

Another thump from the other room, followed by the sticky squeal of tape roused the witch from her contemplation. She had avoided this soul search for the better part of three years; since the first time Ivy pinned her to her chair and she had her first taste of attraction to the vamp. She had precious little time now, pride must be swallowed. It was time to think with her heart. Ivy was home. There was nowhere for Rachel without the vamp. The redhead choked back a sob. _Love transcends._ There was only one thing left to do. Rachel rose and tiptoed through the glass, up the landing step and slipped quietly out the door.

xXx

Ivy heard it all and when the front door closed she broke down, the barely repressed sobs coming hard and fast. The tiny flicker of hope finally snuffed out by the closing of the door. The vamp had expected more of a fight. She had expected the witch to babble and apologize and guilt her into keeping her promise about not leaving. She had expected to be convinced to stay longer, for Rachel to make reasons and excuses and for her to believe them as she usually did. She had anticipated the witch calling her bluff, had expected Rachel would be here shouting and pulling things from boxes. The vamp would have pushed a bit more, but would have acquiesced. She had never been able to refuse Rachel a thing. Even the kiss in California had been a con, but apparently Ivy was a better liar than she thought. Or Rachel had just wanted to believe…

The relationship with Nina was like the rest of Ivy’s relationships since the I.S had paired her with the redhead. It kept her mind distracted to keep her heart from breaking. Nina did want Ivy to move in; Nina wanted her just as Skimmer had. There was a type of love there, but it wasn’t the pure white heat that Rachel inspired. The living vamp’s chest heaved, hoping that there would be some catharsis at the end of this mess. She felt dead without that hope, and feeling dead usually led to bad things. Ivy remembered hopelessness and she had no desire to go back to that hell. Rachel had been her panacea, what would save her now?

The last box was packed and taped and labeled. The vamp drew her arm across her eyes and looked at the last four years cached in boxes. Her breathing still came in hitching gasps, tiny sobs she wasn’t sure would ever end. She’d call the movers tonight and have them get it all. Right now she just needed out of the church and to get away from everything Rachel as fast as possible. The vamp grabbed her helmet from atop the empty dresser and left the room, slowly closing the door behind her.

The corners of Ivy’s mouth pulled up in a ghost of a smile as she walked into the sanctuary. It had felt good to let go, despite the lack of response. She sighed, smile gone, and tried to calm her breathing as she walked across the broken glass to retrieve her CD. She’d leave the furniture here for now; the chair would need to be repaired. Ivy added that to her mental checklist, then frowned when the CD was nowhere to be seen. The cut in the leather was there, but it was empty. Brows knitted, Ivy turned to the stereo and saw Rachel’s headphones plugged in and the power left on. The vamp turned and pushed eject once again then clicked off the power. Rachel must have decided to listen before she left. Ivy sniffed, and wiped an errant tear. She hoped her eyes would stop leaking by the time she got to Nina. If not, she figured she could always blame the bike.

Glass crunched under her boots as she strode out of the sanctuary and through the heavy wooden door. There was more swagger to her step now that nightfall was upon her, but the darkness eased not her aching heart. Ivy locked the door behind her and looked up at the placard hanging above the door. Another hitch, more tears to wipe. She hoped she could continue on at the firm, but it may just be too hard. Ivy kissed the tips of her fingers and then reached up to touch the sign. _Morgan_. She turned and fled down the steps, heels clicking against the walk to the garage.

Crickets chirped as she punched in the code onto the automatic door keypad. The door grumbled and groaned its way up the track. Ivy tipped her head back, eyes closed, and waited until the door stopped. After one more futile swipe at the insistent leaking of her eyes, she dropped her head and stepped into the weak light. The helmet clattered out of her grip and rolled lopsidedly across the floor to rest by the back tire of the Nightwing. Ivy pulled in another shuddering breath and held it, her eyes meeting emerald green. The witch stood by Ivy’s bike, arms wrapped around herself, tear-tracks shiny in the yellow light. As Ivy watched, Rachel unfolded her arms and stood straighter, awkward in her uncertainty. 

“I can’t lose you. You’re my home.” She reached an arm towards Ivy, eyes beseeching. “Please don’t leave…”

The vamp trembled, this was unexpected, and Ivy didn’t like the unexpected. She had no plan for this. Rachel blurred before her eyes, saying everything she had wanted her to say, almost.   
Fear rose in those green eyes, and Ivy could feel herself react instinctively. 

“Am I too late?” Rachel stepped forward, hesitant, arm still extended. “Please tell me I’m not too late.”

Ivy couldn’t speak. She was too afraid of what would come out of her mouth. She clutched the CD tighter and simply stared. Rachel took another step forward, then another until her outstretched hand ghosted on the vamp’s shoulder. Ivy shook her head slightly, and the witch frowned.

“I don’t care if I am, you can’t leave….y-you can’t leave your soulmate.” Rachel swallowed, “I want…no I need you to stay, Ivy Tamwood. I want…I want all of you.”

“Why now,” The vamp's voice was only a breath. “After all this time?”

“I didn’t know what I had until I lost you. I can’t imagine living without you by my side and until you said goodbye…I had never tried to imagine. It hurt.” The witch choked out the last few words and brought her hand up to Ivy’s face, her thumb brushing away the tears. “I’ll beg…I’m begging. Don’t leave me.”

Ivy pitched forward into Rachel’s arms, her long straight hair tangling in the witch’s fiery curls. The two women stood wrapped in a rocking embrace until their quiet weeping calmed. Rachel’s hand stroked down over Ivy’s hair, pulling it back behind her ear. Her lips pressed close and she whispered, “Thank you.”

As if waiting for confirmation, Rachel’s aura reached out for Ivy’s and they blended and swirled, rejoicing in their contact in body and spirit. As their auras become one, two voices murmured together, 

“I love you.”


End file.
